trans-desire
when the pleasure seeking is no longer the physical body but the image
when the desire is not about the act but the maintenance of the perpetual Desire.
always to resist full manifestation of the prize but to stroke it delicately with eyes wide shut.
never transcendence but perpetual hope, perpetual labour for pleasure.
I constantly need. want. desire.
i only lie if it is otherwise.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
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-- who is more real?
Monday, September 17, 2007
scene 1
blackness.
narrator/heather: where am i?
some colours fade onto the black canvas. RGB.
heather: hello?
blurred faces begin to appear. They are all smiling. No soundtrack. Images after images smiling faces flash across the screen.
heather: hello?! stop smiling!
She wakes. Her night clothes drenched from cold sweat. it is raining outside.
7:00am. The alarm rings. Her husband is sleeping beside. He begins to stir. She realises it's morning. Steps out of bed before husband wakes fully.
Goes through morning ritual: brushes teeth. washes face. changes to another set of clothes. leaves bathroom to prepare breakfast, which consists of two fried eggs, a cup of coffee and toasted bread for the husband. Bread and Nutella for her children.
Collects the morning papers. Wakes her children: Mike (7 years) and Kristy (5 years).
Prepares them for school.
Heather: James! Hurry up. You're going to be late for work.
James: (from room) you know I'm never late for (walks out to the dining table) work. (kisses her) Good Morning dear.
Heather: (smiles) You be careful on the road. It's raining.
James: The weather has been like that since last week. (drifts off as he reads newspaper and sips his coffee) Children...We're leaving in 5 minutes. Be ready by then!
Mike: Daddy, can I not wear those blue raincoats again.
Heather: Honey, you know it's for you to protect you from the rain.
Mike: But Mom!
Kristy: I'm done! (expecting a compliment)
Heather: Good girl. Now, will you tell your brother to finish his bread soon.
Kristy: Mommy says you have to finish your bread! (triumphantly)
Mike: (grumbles but finishes his breakfast.) I'm done too.
James: Alright dear, we're off now.
The children grab their bags and the raincoats hanging beside the door. James picks up his briefcase from the study room. The children steps out of the door, followed by James. James kisses Heather again.
James: See you tonight Dear.
Heather: I love you.
James: I love you too.
They leave, while Heather stands at the door and waves them goodbye. She sighs.
She closes door. She does not finish her own breakfast but clears the utensils.
She does her housework:
blackness.
narrator/heather: where am i?
some colours fade onto the black canvas. RGB.
heather: hello?
blurred faces begin to appear. They are all smiling. No soundtrack. Images after images smiling faces flash across the screen.
heather: hello?! stop smiling!
She wakes. Her night clothes drenched from cold sweat. it is raining outside.
7:00am. The alarm rings. Her husband is sleeping beside. He begins to stir. She realises it's morning. Steps out of bed before husband wakes fully.
Goes through morning ritual: brushes teeth. washes face. changes to another set of clothes. leaves bathroom to prepare breakfast, which consists of two fried eggs, a cup of coffee and toasted bread for the husband. Bread and Nutella for her children.
Collects the morning papers. Wakes her children: Mike (7 years) and Kristy (5 years).
Prepares them for school.
Heather: James! Hurry up. You're going to be late for work.
James: (from room) you know I'm never late for (walks out to the dining table) work. (kisses her) Good Morning dear.
Heather: (smiles) You be careful on the road. It's raining.
James: The weather has been like that since last week. (drifts off as he reads newspaper and sips his coffee) Children...We're leaving in 5 minutes. Be ready by then!
Mike: Daddy, can I not wear those blue raincoats again.
Heather: Honey, you know it's for you to protect you from the rain.
Mike: But Mom!
Kristy: I'm done! (expecting a compliment)
Heather: Good girl. Now, will you tell your brother to finish his bread soon.
Kristy: Mommy says you have to finish your bread! (triumphantly)
Mike: (grumbles but finishes his breakfast.) I'm done too.
James: Alright dear, we're off now.
The children grab their bags and the raincoats hanging beside the door. James picks up his briefcase from the study room. The children steps out of the door, followed by James. James kisses Heather again.
James: See you tonight Dear.
Heather: I love you.
James: I love you too.
They leave, while Heather stands at the door and waves them goodbye. She sighs.
She closes door. She does not finish her own breakfast but clears the utensils.
She does her housework:
Saturday, September 15, 2007
prologue
if there were no eternal consciousness in a man,
if at the bottom of everything
there were only a wild ferment,
a power that twisting in dark passions produced everything
great or inconsequential;
if an unfathomable,
insatiable emptiness lay hid beneath everything,
what would life be but despair?
kierkegaard
damien: when was your last dream?
heather: cannot remember.
damien: do you have any conception of your problem?
heather: i can't sleep.
damien: how long has this been?
heather: i can't remember.
damien: (silent) you do know that you have to be awfully honest with me here for me to help you right?
heather: (silent) i cannot fathom what you mean.
damien: ok. when was the last time you slept?
heather: I cannot remember.
damien: (silent again) your gender.
heather: female.
damien: date of manufacture
heather: can't remember
damien: (pauses) who are you?
heather: heather
damien: your full name please
heather: i do not remember
damien: your name is not heather
heather: No. I am Heather.
damien: look. we are in a very delicate situation here. the results of this physiological and psychological investigation will determine your condition and your capability to function. I need you to engage immediately with your central databank.
heather: that i cannot do.
damien: (frowns) is that your final answer?
heather: i cannot be sure. everything is just so...fuzzy. i cannot sleep.
damien: ok. you may leave now and step out quietly to the next room.
heather: yes.
damien: wait. let me ask you again. what is your name.
heather: Heather. just heather.
damien: you may go now.
Damien stares at her as she passes through the door. She does not look back. She turns a corner and disappears. Damien pops a pill after she exits.
damien: (as if to himself) the subject is deemed unsuitable for humanity. she is unfit for duty and assimilation back to the human population. Her perception, conception and cognitive processes are unhuman. Her speech patterns are incoherent. Her balance between human and machine has failed. She has malfunctioned and disintegrated to an earlier version. I , therefore, pronounced Model H-3A7H312 unfit due for re-modification, pending further tests.
--
all human processes are reductive by nature.
if at the bottom of everything
there were only a wild ferment,
a power that twisting in dark passions produced everything
great or inconsequential;
if an unfathomable,
insatiable emptiness lay hid beneath everything,
what would life be but despair?
kierkegaard
damien: when was your last dream?
heather: cannot remember.
damien: do you have any conception of your problem?
heather: i can't sleep.
damien: how long has this been?
heather: i can't remember.
damien: (silent) you do know that you have to be awfully honest with me here for me to help you right?
heather: (silent) i cannot fathom what you mean.
damien: ok. when was the last time you slept?
heather: I cannot remember.
damien: (silent again) your gender.
heather: female.
damien: date of manufacture
heather: can't remember
damien: (pauses) who are you?
heather: heather
damien: your full name please
heather: i do not remember
damien: your name is not heather
heather: No. I am Heather.
damien: look. we are in a very delicate situation here. the results of this physiological and psychological investigation will determine your condition and your capability to function. I need you to engage immediately with your central databank.
heather: that i cannot do.
damien: (frowns) is that your final answer?
heather: i cannot be sure. everything is just so...fuzzy. i cannot sleep.
damien: ok. you may leave now and step out quietly to the next room.
heather: yes.
damien: wait. let me ask you again. what is your name.
heather: Heather. just heather.
damien: you may go now.
Damien stares at her as she passes through the door. She does not look back. She turns a corner and disappears. Damien pops a pill after she exits.
damien: (as if to himself) the subject is deemed unsuitable for humanity. she is unfit for duty and assimilation back to the human population. Her perception, conception and cognitive processes are unhuman. Her speech patterns are incoherent. Her balance between human and machine has failed. She has malfunctioned and disintegrated to an earlier version. I , therefore, pronounced Model H-3A7H312 unfit due for re-modification, pending further tests.
--
all human processes are reductive by nature.
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